Trump hashioki

The inauguration of the United States’ 45th. President last Friday started me thinking: what would a Trump hashioki look like?

Reportedly everything in a Trump hotel is branded; the bottles of water in the mini fridge say “Trump”, the wine served in the restaurants say” Trump”, even the hand soaps and the toilet paper in the bathrooms say “Trump.” So its only a matter of time until there’s a chopstick rest that says “Trump” makes it debut, too.

I think the chopstick rest shouldn’t just say “Trump” — it should be Trump. So it should be made of five 3D letters T R U M P that will be welded together. It should be heavy, and probably very big: maybe five inches across, roughly twice the size of the usual hashioki? It should be made in America, of course, and fashioned from some material that is the finest available of whatever it is. No recycled or environmentally friendly stuff here, please. It should be red, white and blue. And it should be encrusted with rhinestones, or maybe diamonds, and garishly splattered with gilt paint. I don’t currently own anything that is marked with the Trump brand, but I’m not sure I could resist a Trump hashioki.

While my collection doesn’t include the above and hopefully mythical item, I do have a few elephant hasSorry, but I don’t have any hashioki in the shape of a donkey, the mascot of the Democratic Party. I don’t think there’s a lot of demand for donkey hashioki, even from Democrats.
hioki. The elephant is of course the symbol of the Republican Party. These elephants are decidedly immigrants, probably from Southwest Asia. I think they’re a little nervous about being in the United States right now because they’re not official US citizens. The one on the left is a very subdued shade of brown, probably because he hoping to blend into a crowd. The blue and white one has his trunk curled over his head, almost like he’s trying to look like something other than a Republican…. I mean, elephant. The pieced wooden example is flattened and resigned, but grateful that he sees what’s happening now through an eye that is only a tiny hole drilled in the upper left hand side of his body.

Sorry, but I don’t have any hashioki in the shape of a donkey, the mascot of the Democratic Party. I don’t think there’s a lot of demand for donkey hashioki, even from Democrats.

 

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